Fresh from the capn's table.

I did my usual reconnaissance of the fridge this morning (whilst I casually tried to ignore the towering minarets of washing-up).  I had two choices at my disposal, one involved taleggio and potatoes (a brilliant Nigel Slater recipe) and the other would involve a vacuum-packed piece of smoked mackerel.  I plumped for the piscatorial option.

I have had a bit of a falling out of love with fish recently.  I used to eat it with much gusto, but I had, about a year ago what one might term a biohazardous incident with some cod.  Now, I do urge and indeed recommend that you skip the next paragraph if you want to continue enjoying your fish, or perhaps you have a unerring curiosity to find out....

I was making a fish pie.  I poached the fish in infused milk, much like I explained in my recent kipper catastrophe episode.  I allowed the fish to cool and began flaking it into a bowl.  Much to my surprise I felt something "curled" around my little finger, much more alarmed I was to find that it moved too!!  A worm, around 6cm in length, pale white in colour was moving, serpent-like in my hands.  Closer examination of the fillet revealed more of these annelid menaces.  I'm sure you won't be hugely surprised to find out I dumped the whole cooking adventure in the bin.  I took some video footage of the aforementioned helminth but I won't "gross you out" with the grisly footage.  I did some investigation on the internet, and it appears I had a nasty infestion of ascarids, or fish round worms.  Although they are unable to live in humans they can cause extreme stomach pain and vomiting.  I didn't eat fish for about a year after this.  There are two ways of dealing with these potential dinner-spoilers.  One is to freeze your fish solidly before you eat it, the other is to make sure you give it a jolly good bit of heat (i think they die off at 80 odd celcius).  Obviously my gentle poaching wasn't enough to kill the little blighters off.

Anyway, I have began to eat fish again, but I try to choose something that has been smoked.  I'm fairly sure the hot smoking will do the job on any potential stow-aways onboard.

My smoked mackerel fishcakes are delightful, I must say, and quite outperform anything you might buy in the supermarket.  I am rather purist with my fishcakes.  Here's how I make them:

Mackerel Fishcakes with home-pickled beetroot and salad

•   Whizz some old bread up in a small blender.  I usually use 1-1.5 slices - white bread works best.
•   Meanwhile peel and boil some floury potatoes - about 4 medium ones will do.  Boil until they are cooked through.
•   In a bowl flake your smoked mackerel, try to catch any bones that might attempt to sneak into your mix.
•   You can add a chopped spring onion or two if you like, or perhaps add some chopped parsley here.
•   Allow the cooked potatoes to cool.  When they are cool mash them and add to the fish.  Mix thoroughly.  Add pepper but not salt as the mackerel is invariably rather salty.  Shape to make 4 fat, round fishcakes.
•   Put the breadcrumbs on a plate or chopping board.  Roll the fishcakes in the breadcrumbs - try to coat all surfaces.  
•   Chill the fishcakes in the fridge for at least an hour.
•   Heat 2 tbsp olive oil (not extra virgin) and a knob of butter in a heavy base frying pan.  Cook the fishcakes - don't crowd the pan, cook 2 at a time if need be - until they are golden and crisp on each side.  This should take 5-6 minutes on each side dependent on how high you have the heat.  
•   During the cooking process spoon the oil/butter over the fishcakes.  You can rotate the cakes in the pan so that they get cooked around the edges too.

I always serve with a crisp salad, or failing that some good old fashioned baked beans (and copious amounts of HP sauce).